pepper spray

Luisa, her sister &brother-in-law (visiting from cape verde) and the kids went to their grandma's houses for 2 days so its just me and luciano here. He is very protective. He had to leave for a few hours to go to the doctor and then the gym so he was like "ahhh i feel bad leaving i know you'll be safe but i just ummm do you want a gun or pepper spray at least?!" (he knows i like guns and we shoot birds outside sometimes) i just laughed tho and told him no worries i'll be fine but he didnt care, he still brought me some pepper spray and makes sure i take it with me where ever i go now. So today i walked down to the post office and he made sure i had it with me. He was being funny showing me how to hold it certain ways so that if someone were to try to take it, my grip would be better so they couldnt knock it out haha idk he was so serious and i just thought it was funny. It reminds me of KOOOOTEN cuz my brother has always joked about how i need pepper spray and how he would get me some but he never did. So im at the post office and there are two men in there. one in my line and another off to the side. The guy off to the side said something to me and i didnt know what it was so i just said sorry i dont speak italian. (i always have someone as me something at the post office and every time i just reply sorry i dont speak italian and they usually just say ohhhh english okay and leave me alone) He looked at me with like *eyebrows* and goes english? I just looked at him like ew you sick-o and didnt say anything. He asked me another question but i didnt understand so i started to have a not so good feeling about him. So i decided i'd let him get in front of me in line. I thought it was smart cuz if he was behind me and came out looking for me afterwards he would come up behind me and i would rather be in control so i figured if he was in front of me, he would exit first so when i would walk out of the post office he would be in front of me and i could see him. So he is at the window and keeps turning around looking me up and down like not even trying to hide it. Um no! First of all you're freaking old and like muslim or from pakistan or something he had like an orange turban type thing on and dark skin just no. He wasnt like a skinny muslim guy i think more pakistan or iraq or something, he was thicker and wore different clothes than the normal muslim people i see her. He also smelled really bad there were 2 flies literally that kept buzzing all around him and moved with him where ever he went haha! Also i realized that when guys look at me i have a potty mouth. ha oops :P nothing came out, i just think all sorts of bad names in my head and chew them out in my mind haha! Me and kaylee were always pretty straight up with guys that would stare or cat call or something like im not a dog so dont treat me like one ya know? So i have very little tollerance for idiotic men. So i looked at him like "no a-hole turn around" So he finishes and leaves the post office whewwwww and i get my letter all sent out. As i leave im thinking okay lets see if this mother is outside waiting for me. Just as i thought, i go out the glass doors and he is standing there looking in the glass waiting for me "i am the smartest man alive!!!" -billy maddison....thats what i thought when i saw him haha! and right as i make eye contact with him he pretends to be looking thru papers. Then waits for me to walk in a direction and he just hapens to go that way too....he says something to me and i pretend not to hear cuz we were kinda in a corner so i quickly walk towards the street and he runs up and cuts me off. (i have my pepper spray fully gripped in my coat pocket) and so i change direction and start walking at like an angle...sorry its hard to explain but anyway he cut me off again but i managed to get across to a street corner so we were more in the open and i just looked at him with my b-word face and say "what?!" like rude and fed up. Then he starts asking me where im from. I just stared at him like c'mon terrorist you think im gunna tell you? (i guess you could say im racist? middle eastern people just freak me out.) Then he asks where i live...same thing i just looked at him with my pissed off look and say "i dont understand you(even tho i did) and i dont want to talk to you, now leave me alone." and i try to go around him to keep walking but he sidesteps and tells me camla calma ferme which is like calm down hold still or something like that. so i looked at him like dont freaking tell me what to do and he starts asking me where im going so now im really like upset. not even so much scared just more thinking like bro please come at me cuz i would loveeeeeee to try this pepper spray out. For like the third time i say i dont know what youre saying and you're disgusting get out of my way. He says calma again and i yell NOOO i dont understand you, you dont understand me youre wasting my time leave me alone and push past him and keep walking fast. He runs across the street, gets in his car and just stares at me the whole time so i stared back haha is that wrong to do? idk but when you stare at a dog if they look away first that means you have control over them so when people stare at me i like to make them coward down first and let them know im not scared. So i stared back at him with like a "what!?" face and took the long way home since he drove behind me since it was the only street -_- So i crossed through a park and lost him. Im glad luciano gave me it an i will not go anywhere without it now because it felt so good holdin it in my hand knowing in case i need to use it i'll be okay but geez some men are just so stupid. Then after i lost him there was another guy on a different street that looked at me flirting and then said something to me and put his hand out as i walked past and i dont know what to say so i just look at them with "the face" haha. I've always been told i have a b-word looking face.  People always said i was intimidating and scary lookin, and that if they didnt know me they would never talk to me cuz i just look mean. I've been told i have the look that says i demand respect from everyone haha, Thanks?  And whenever my sports teams would be together for a while we'd all say first impressions like what we thought of eachother when we first met them and everyoneeee always says they were scared of me or thought i was gunna be such a b-word. So i like to use that to my advantage :) So yup that was  my day today!

My lovely pepper spray.....i dont look that mean right? :) oh a plus note i got this scarf for only like 6 euros and im obsessed with it! and momma those are my real nails look how long they are!!! :D

sunday :)

Sundays are always great days! Earlier this week i had the best spiritual experience so i have been pumped about church all week just cuz how do i expect to keep having those experiences if i dont go ya know? I feel like if i dont go then its like a slap in the face to Heavenly Father for answering my prayers so quickly but so many things have happened to try to get me not to go today. (too many im not even gunna name them off butttttt I MADE IT! :) So im in class....3 african men, one guy from england and a sister from the phillipines and the missionary from idaho w/ an investigator from china only i didnt know he was an investigator. ya....huge! Anyways during the lesson it was on missionary work which obviously makes me pumped so i was all jazzed up about it. The guy asked if anyone had any missonary experiences to share and no one volunteered and i hate how when all else fails everyone looks to the missionary to say something so instead i raised my hand and decided to share Tiffany's conversion story. So i told them about how her family had been giving her a lot of crap for wanting to join and telling her just a lot of bad and untrue things about the mormons but it made her happy and she knew she wanted it so she did it anyways and now that she is a member even her mom has noticed she is happier and admits its because she joined the church....after the lesson the elder came up to me and told me the investigator is in the exact same situation and hoped that me sharing that story would help him because his situation is so similar. So the rest of church me, elder johnson and (i already forgot his name oops!) the investigator sat together and just talked and answered all of his questions so i am SO glad i went. I came back home and lusia, melissa (cousin), luciano, camillo, paola(sister and brother in law from cape verde) and camilla decided they were gunna go into Milan for the day/evening to some circus show so its just me and leone here at the house hanging out. I love when its just me and him. And after playing for a few hours we are now gettin comfortable with all our pillows and blankets and this awesome couch to watch a film...guess whats on?! THE COWBOYS. ah so excited. john freakin wayne <3 One of my favorite movies so im convinced this day couldnt get any better. We watched aliens vs. cowboys last night and as we were watching it i was thinking dang i wanna watch a JW movie right now and see my home land or new mexico but close enough. And ta-dah today its on! So....imma go watch that now and then skype my family later :) Have a great sunday everyone!

 Movie night! :) yes we paused the movie just so i could upload these haha he loves his horses, he is so intense watching it.

new trail

Leone and i go on walks all the time because what else are you supposed to do with a 2 year old all day!? So yesterday we went on a 3 1/2 hour walk on this trail oh my goodness its my new favorite. Its along side a river and it has been raining all weekend/monday so there was only 2 days left for everything to get dry...exo facto- lots of mud butttt yesterday was such a good day i was determined to go for as far a walk as possible. We did a lot of "off roading" you could call it, so it was lots of fun :) Leone is so cute and calm when we go on our walks he just sits there quietly and takes it all in and then occasionally he'll turn around and smile at me and say "hi acaw, tutto bene?" and then i'll answer him and he'll just smile again and turn back around. He is so sweet. Or he'll turn around and say "acaw cheeese...acaw cheeeeese!" that means he wants to take a picture, he likes pics a lot. Which so do i so it works out perfectly :) The leaves are so pretty....mesa obviously doesnt have a fall season haha so i've never really seen this many trees with different leaves, i love it. Yesterday was just an awesome day the whole time walking i just kept thinking "holy heck im living in italy....IM LIVING IN ITALY?! is this real life...." haha it still doesnt feel real. And this girl jessica posted on facebook "sometimes when i drive i like to count my blessings...i could drive for days." So i decided to do that when i walk now. Walking on these beautiful paths with such a cute little kid and being able to be in a different country seeing how they live life really makes it easy to be thankful for so many things, so it was definitly a good day! :)

 obviously he is superrrr excited :D

 Leone and i at the secret garden...i love all of his faces!

 Ohhhhh yeah i love teeter-totters! we stopped twice to play on this :) oh and i thought it was genius that they put tires underneath it because then when the other person tries to be a jerk and let you fall on your butt super fast, you get a little cushion! perfect.

 ha he is so stinkin cute i love how he raises his eyebrows and opens his eyes wider.

 Awesome trail...

 Leone hiding each time  a car would drive by

 River

 I love the vines growing up the trees

 yellowww :)

ha! Is this normal? idk but there was a whole group of old people taking turns walking down this path with their skii poles haha practice makes perfect i guess?

 

 

 

 

Oh he was sooo happy to  play in all the leaves!

 

 

 There are people out there picking some plants? idk what they were im still curious about it haha

 

 

 

Dairy

Just cuz i knowwww you all wanna know ;) Bad dairy- Leone has been sick and has had the run all friggin day. I've bathed him and changed him so many times today from all his explosions and i gagged changing him...that bad. However luckily i never got any on me :)...but if i would have, it wouldnt have been the first time a child has crapped on me haha! Poor kid...poor me...i cant wait to be a mom -_- haha but really :)
On a good note! The dairy products here are so good. Back home, i hated milk. Only with cereal and like brownies or cookies. Or NESQUIK! <3  butttt here the milk is amazing its like dessert. I drink milk plain now and yogurt oh my gosh yoplait no thankyou i dont know if i'll be able to eat that stuff when i get home. The kind here is awesome i eat so much yogurt every day. mmmm yogurt and milk is  a dessert by itself.

Taken -_- GOOD LUCK

So before i moved here everyone was giving me crap about the movie "taken" where that girl gets kidnapped by an albanian group of men who sell the girls as sex slaves all around europe...anyways, i am teaching english lessons kinda to a guy named elson. I forgot he said he was from albania before and on tuesday night we were talking and he said "Good luck" oh my gosh i froze and got goosebumps, i looked at him like he had 3 heads, i swear my eyes popped outta my head. Scared me half to death and then he was like what what did i say it wrong?! So i told him about the movie and he has seen them so it made him start laughing so then my fear turned to laughter haha geez he sounded JUST like the man in the movie it scared me so bad. KKK heres some pics from this week :)

 

 

 Goat on the roof?! yeah no big deal, totally normal...

 Camilla learning to draw a person with a body haha i make it with dots and then she connects them. She loves it, we've been doing it with watercolors the last couple days too.

 Oh ya know...me and camilla just love taking pictures making funny faces :P

 Never too old to play inside a smurf house...maybe a little too big but when 2 kids are begging you to crawl inside with them, you get down on your freaking hands and knees and cram inside haha!

 The sun was bright pink it was so cool!

 ^uh-ohhhh nazi action in the park....

 Isnt he a doll?

 nibbling my boots!

 My favorite!! I love when he does this, "makes me melt like a posicle on the fourth of july!" -little rascals :)

 This hill...leone and i were walking and he went off the path and i was like nooo leone come here you'll slip and fall welp right as i reach for him we both slip and ate it all the way down! Im talking yard-sale. my purse flew off and my phone &ipod fell out...leone's shoe fell off and when i finally stop rolling i look over at leone thinking great hes gunna be crying this is gunna be awful...he just looks at me gets the biggest grin on his face and goes "tutto bene aw-caw!?" sooo stinkin cute. We both were covered in mud but it was too funny.

 Oh genius idea until i let go of the jacket and opened the doors and camilla tried reaching out to push herself with her hands on the tile...tipped over...split her chin open :/

 Story- camilla loves taking pics on my phone so she tells me shes taking a pic so i smile at her then she goes noooo nooo sticks out her tongue and points to it and says you! She is obsessed with tongues!

 Leone and i built a fort out of his bed :)

Holy B-word...BLOOD!

hoookay! For those of you that dont know, i received my fathers genes....im a WUSS when it comes to needles and blood. Honestly typing those n & b- words make my arms go weak and my feet tingly. Any extraction of blood or like throw up just freaks me out, i still bawl like a baby if i throw up (which i havnt in forever because i refuse to, i would rather hold it in and be in pain and sick longer than to actually throw up..idk it just terrifies me) same with blood. Someone putting a needle in my vain and pumping blood out oh my gosh KILL ME NOW. I dont know why im writing in such detail because now i feel weak :( aw well im done. hopefully you get the picture. Anyways, earlier luisa was pushing leone around in this little basket thing that has wheels on the bottom. Well you dont have to be a genius to realize its pretty dang dangerous cuz if it tips over what up face to the floor. So camilla wanted me to push her around. So i did, i tied my jacket to it and was pulling her so that i could control her and she wasnt pushing herself cuz i knew if i let her try to then she would eat it hardcore. Well just as i let go of the jacket and turned around to open the door to the kitchen, she decides to try to push herself and bam eats it. Face first onto the stone floor. STONE. no carpet ughhh instantly i felt so bad i should have picked her up or made her get out first before opening the door, i didnt think she would try to push herself in the 2 seconds it took to open the door butttttt it happend. It was so slow mo for me, i was scared to look at her face because when she fell she held onto the basket with both hands so literally it was just her face that slammed the stone. I pick her up and i see a huge drop of blood fall and she had split her chin open. I put my hand under her chin and we are already in the kitchen so i grab the towel to put it where my hand was. I didnt know it was that bad until i moved my hand and literally im holding a huge handfull of blood. The blood is gushing all down her shirt and pants, overflowing the towel and its gettin all over the tile and all on my hands and arms, ughhh gross gross gross. She ended up going to the hospital and got like butterfly strips on it or something and has to go back in on thursday to see if she needs stitches but all day my stomache has been in knotts cuz of it. First cuz i feel so bad, broke my heart watching her scream cuz she was so scared. She kept yelling sangre ay-ree-ka sangreee! which means blood and i didnt know how to comfort her in italian so that was definitely a time i wish there wasnt a language barrier. BUTTTT! the whole point of this story is that when it happened, i didnt feel weak or anything, it was like it wasnt even real life. MOM- you should be so proud of me. I freaking caught tons of blood in my hands and cleaned her up and the floor, it wasnt until her dad and the housekeeper came in and took over that i stepped back and took the whole scene in. Then it hit me that i was covered in blood and the floor was all bloody ughhhh then i got all pale and sickish haha and all night ive felt weak BUT in the moment i handled it like a champ. Or at least i would say so :) Anyways sorry i havnt posted pics but i promise either sunday or monday i will have TONS.

what da heck is he saying?!

Story #1-Last week part of my molar fell out so i had this hole in my mouth but all of the offices were closed cuz of some holiday so i couldnt see a dentist for a whole week. Finally today we went to the dentist and nothing is more frightening than sitting in the dentist chair for starters, not knowing if you're gunna get shots (which im terrified of and yes even tho im 19 i will bawl like a baby. judge me i blame my father) and having 2 people from a different country goin to work in your mouth and constantly talking to eachother and i have no idea what theyre saying. Each time hed talk to the assistant and get new tools my eyes probably looked like golf balls cuz i was so scared and just wanted to know what he was saying! Putting all my trust in these people who i dont know about their schooling or dental practices here haha idk just freaked me out. They didnt numb me either so it was already painful and on top of that i was so tense cuz i didnt know if they were gunna give me shots so every time she reached for a new tool i would get all worked up in my head!! I had a huge cavity so they basically scrapped out the whole inside of my tooth and filled it. It had hurt plenty of times before but i just thought it was cuz i hadnt been wearin my retainers so whenever it would hurt i would just throw them in and the pain would go away but i was way wrong haha and i feel really bad cuz it cost luisa 75 euros which is more in USD. So mom and dad youre welcome i took care of it here bahahahaha just kidding, in all seriousness tho i only trust doctor frost and i wanna go see him as soon as im back! or sister mclaws brother, not dr. bretzing, he's scary.  For those that wanna know the story behind "what the heck is he saying?!" here it is.....Its a family video we have and its hunter, kolten and derek all in their whitey tighteys and oversized shirts sitting on the floor singing primary songs. My mom was recording them so of course all of them are trying to act so cool. They're singing book of mormon stories and doing the actions to it but hunter skipped the "that my teacher tells to me" where you point to yourself, so kolten stops them in the middle of the song and goes nooooo noooo hunter! Do like this. *motions pointin to himself* Hunter gets the most confused look on his face (he is probably 6 or 7), looks up at the camera and goes,   "what da HECK is he saying?!" Maybe you have to watch it to find the humor but i think any little kids when they swear or say replacement words are so funny because their voices are so dang cute. So thats what i was thinking when i sat in the dentist chair :)
Story #2- Yesterday was just kinda a blahhh day. For starters, i woke up terrified. I had one of those dreams that you jump and wake yourself up, usually its the typical walking then all a sudden you fall into a hole or im playing softball gunna catch a pop-up but right before i catch the ball, my glove disappears and i get slammed in the face...but not this time. This time i cant even remember what i dreamed, i dont know if it was scary or a jumpy dream but about 4 am i woke myself up by sitting straight up and screaming. who the freak does this, right?! Luckily i didnt wake anyone else up but then the rest of the night i couldnt fall back asleep good, it was just rollin around couldnt get comfortable or fall into a deep sleep. And before that i stayed up to watch tv with luisa and luciano so i didnt get to bed late...exo fact- not much sleep that night. So in the morning i was so tired and my neck had been hurting me and i was pissed when i looked in the mirror and saw a zit. No one likes those so i was standing there thinking ughhh todays gunna be a bad day. Fortunately for me, the grandma came over so i just kinda lounged arround with her and leone until she wanted to go for a walk with the kids. This lady and her walks...i know its coming EVERY time. She wants to go on like 3 hour walks every time they come. I dont hate them but i dont love them either, it is kinda nice tho just to walk and think and its so pretty here but i like to do it on my own time, when i want to so i can decided where and when to go with the kids. Regardless, i went with them and about two hours in, we stopped by their cousins apartment where she came outisde to talk and im just standing there feeling like crap. The- slept like crap, feel like crap, you knowww you look like crap haha im sure everyone reading this has had one of these days. These 3 little kids come up to me randomly, they were just riding their bikes and stopped to talk. So she goes off in italian to me and i just smile and say sorry i dont speak italian. So she starts talking to camilla and the little girl is just staringggg at me. Eventually she talks to me again and i say the same thing, sorry i dont speak italian sweetie i dont know what youre saying.....she smiles and goes "waz ya num?" i start to say i dont speak italian again then realize ohhhh thats english just heavily accented so i got all excited because NO ONE here speaks english. Literally have met 1 man from pakistan, 1 man from nigeria and then luisa and luciano. So i got really excited and here's our conversation...
me: ohhhh  whats my name? Im ayrica. What is your name?
girl: Im sarah.
me: well its nice to meet you sarah, do you and your brothers speak english?
Sarah: *motions the so-so with her hand* little bit.
me: Well cool, how old are you?
Sarah: Im 10!!! *smiles all proud*
Me: Oh saaaweet you're gettin big, i have a little sister who is ten. *she looked all confused and says, seester?"  Sister...sorella....you understand?
*awkward moment of silence she just kinda stares the whole time*
Sarah: ohhhh si si waz your sister name?
me: Lydia
Sarah: leedia, pretty.
*More silence. Its kinda awkward cuz she just stares and smiles but i dont know how much she understands so i wasnt quite sure what to ask her and i think she wasnt sure what to say either*
Sarah: Do you have more seesters?
Me: Actually i have 3! Krista is 14, Jaela is 12 then i have 4 brothers named hunter, kolten, derek and kaiden.
Sarah: *huge eyes* That is so manyyyy!* Where do you all leeve?!
Me: laughing- we live in america, in arizona.
Sarah: Wow! All together?!
Me: yup!
Sarah: Wow!! Meeting you is so nice! Im happy i see you on my bike!
Me: Yeah im glad i saw you too *feeling a little bit better about the day cuz kids are just so dang cute and she was so fun to watch her eyes light up and huge smile spread accross her face.
*More silence. She starts talking to camilla after a little bit and im just standing there. I can feel her eyes on me again so i look at her and she is just staring and so i just smile at here again and these next few parts made my day-*
Sarah: Ay-ree-kah...you is vewy booaful *think accents haha*
Me: Aww thank you sarah you're a cutie too!
Sarah: She smiles all shy,  No you is so booaful but you also just  (she couldnt think of a word so she puts her hands up to her face and flicks her fingers all around, smiles super big) i no no what to say but bootaful happy! *she smiles super big at me*
Even tho it was kinda a mellow day, this little girl made me realize how happy i really am. Im so blessed with everything i have and even on my bad days i need to suck it up and stop being so selfish because theres people with far worse problems than sleeping bad, zits, and achey muscles. When i wanna be a downer i just need to keep smiling because i never know who's watching and how i can effect them. She was so cute and definitly made my day, specially as i was walking away when she yelled "Good bye Ay-ree-kah i hope i see you more! :)

lady bugs :)

Yesterday Camilla and i spent hours out on the terrace finding lady bugs....it was SO fun. We caught over 30 and it was cute watching her get all excited every time we'd find another one. We caught over 30 but accidentally killed a few because we were a little too excited oops :P and too many were in our container that each time we'd open it to put another one in, we'd lose some so we finally stopped. Later that night we decided to let them go, but somehow 3 of them ended up in the house and we could see them on the ceiling. I laughed and told camilla to look at the ceiling and she says, "oh no, we set them free and they came back, they must love us. Its okay, they can stay and be our guests!" haha she is so cute.

 haha :)

 i was holding the jar and saw a lady bug flyin by about 4 feet off the ground so i just kicked at it and caught it on my shoe so camilla could get it...she thought it was the coolest thing.

 cool? haha lets just paint part of the house...

 oh i love this boy!! He is such a cutie. We read books for hourssss gosh the rain needs to stop so we can go outside!

 the view from the church

 For AMERICAAAA! i saw it at the market and it is a guys sweatshirt so when i was trying to buy it, the guy kept telling me no its for a man...um sir i dont care if its a guys sweatshirt or not its my freakin country! It took a few minutes but i got it :)

 How awkward...make eye contact with your food before you eat it haha i had one just to say i ate it but then i stuck to pizza :O i love pizza here holy heck it is soooo good.

 This is my eye!!well  both are like this. is this even pink eye?? c'mon april (nurse) aunt lacie (um idk but you just know everything) what is this? I wake up and my eye is goopy too idk its weird. I've been getting it every couple weeks, this is the third time i've had it since ive been here.

Isnt he so precious?! goodness this little boy will be smuggled back to america with me haha! I love his bow tie and he is obsessed with his pillow. He would rather sit on the floor and hold his pillow than sit on the couch.

Story- So when i was cleaning the bathroom i jammed my finger  like at the nail and it hurt! If you touched it, it was warm and all my other fingers were cold. So i was all hey luisa can you feel a difference in temperature between my fingers so i tapped my fingers on her arm and she said yeah that one of them was super hot and the rest were cold so she asked me what happened.  i told her that  i jammed it cleanin the bathroom....she didnt understand what the word "jammed" was in english so i had to explain it so i went to fake jam my finger into the table and of course i was retarded and actually jammed my finger again...HARD! i  need my blonde hair back. -_- Thennnnn later that night she told me dinner was ready so i go skipping down the hallway (its wooden floors) and of course i have socks on cuz its freaking cold here so im skipping down singing my favorite song "sola" and i ate it hardcore. Coming out of my room i go down the hallway then turn left and its one step down...well when i went to turn left i slipped with my right foot and fell down the step FACE first and just laid on the floor. Luisa and luciano heard me and they both came out of the kitchen and we all started laughing cuz as i fell i was singing the part that says "ti sento Solaaaa" which is "you feel all alone"....perfect. i fall down the step and am laying on the floor all alone. Luisa says, "oh a-ree-kah, today is NOT your day, stop hurting yourself!"